2016 draws to an end…….. thoughts

These are my thoughts as this year draws to a close….. Another passage completed around our star, the Sun – whatever calendar you keep – it’s effectively the same thing, the completed journey through space and time, another journey begins – the numbers are all relative and carry no true meaning.

Something interesting to think about – we, the earth, sun, solar system and galaxy are never in the same place twice. The orbits are actually spirals, everything is speeding through space diverging and converging – like our lives.

It has been a year of many deaths of those that the media labels as celebrities; I have issues with this classification of humans. Some are great artists, some mediocre, some have talents in sports, some are scientists, politicians, actors – I’m not at all sure that any of this makes anyone a ‘celebrity’ what does the mean anyway? In any case the media seems happy with the culture it has created irrespective of the fact that being a ‘celebrity’ is often the source of as much misery as it is the source of great monetary wealth, only a few are able to maintain a balance in life in spite of their status.

This year – Leonard Cohen’s death touched me deeply. But the balance of this life means that his family and friends will do the real mourning – I along with thousands of people will remember the music and have an idea of the man behind the music, in his music and poetry he will live on. As will all the other people that have left their art, music, writing and other achievements behind them, the rest of us will live on in the hearts and minds of our friends and families. I know what I would rather choose – to die at whatever moment in time knowing that one has people very close, that there is deep love and friendship in one’s life……

I look at a lot of the posts on social media and look at the ages people died at – too many died young, but that’s not just 2016. People have died young for a long time and the scars that those deaths leave on those that stayed behind never quite heal…… My uncle, dad’s youngest brother never reached his 30th birthday, my childhood friend died at around 21, I’ve lost friends to cancer, lost my father, my husband has lost both parents, friends and family members have lost loved ones – the list goes on and on, each death is a cut felt in the heart.

Thinking about the people that have died is a reminder of our mortality, a reminder that time travels only one way and that our bodies are ageing and that age and death is the great equaliser, nobody is immune, no one gets left behind. Some leave early, some linger until closing time – but all have to leave at some point. Judaism says that the purpose of living is to leave this life with a ‘good name’ – that makes sense, the ‘name’ we all leave with is a reflection of how we conducted ourselves, how we treated our fellow human beings, how many people we made smile and how many had shed a tear because of us, how many lives we touched in a positive way, how many lives we’ve ruined, how many times we’ve reached out with a helping hand and how many times we’ve turned our back, have we learnt from our experiences or do we carry bitterness in our hearts? Have we moved forward or are we lingering in the past? Have we learnt through life to have a generous, forgiving and understanding soul or do we feel sorry for ourselves and judge others?……. food for thought…….

Personally this last year has been a most wonderful journey, after a lifetime of being the wandering gipsy we’ve come home. This has been the first full year of my adulthood that I’ve not gone to a ‘9 to 5’ job or looked for one, I feel calm and fulfilled. I’m catching up on a lifetime of sleep deprivation torture, lifetime of stress, lifetime of worry – the difference is so huge that it’s difficult to put into words. For the first time in living memory, there is no stress, nobody is trying to get me to be someone I’m not, I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to and I don’t feel guilty about doing the things I want to – this is a successful life.

Most importantly I/we have friends, real friends – some are closer than others, some I’ve walked a million miles with, others just a short journey – my friends are a wealth beyond measure. I’m married to my best friend – life is good.

Looking forward to next year?

I want to continue to love my husband, love and understand him more, be a better companion for him and continue to build our warm nest.
I want to be a better sister, sister-in-law, daughter, cousin, relative and friend.
I want to deepen some new friendships, revive some old ones that have been almost lost.
I want to become a better human being, forgive more, be kinder, help others more, be there for those in need.
I want to develop my artistic talents more, paint and draw, write more, make more things with my hands.
I want to become a better cook and a much better gardener.
I want to appreciate everything I have in life more.
I will learn more French this coming year.

These are my New Year’s resolutions – oh yes, perhaps drink less wine and dance more 😉 but then heck – I like drinking wine, so just maybe dance more 🙂

I wish everyone for a time of reflection and introspection as the year comes to an end – then get stuck into 2017 full of enthusiasm for life 🙂

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